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Thursday, August 1, 2019

Toxic Parent or Family -101




Consider the following:

  • When engaging with your parent(s), do you often experience emotional exhaustion or overwhelm?
  • Have you encountered instances of direct or subtle criticism from them?
  • Have you noticed any attempts at manipulation on their part?
  • Do you feel compelled to prioritize their needs to avoid being disregarded or ostracized?
  • Is there a pattern of frequent displays of anger if your opinions differ from theirs?
  • Have you observed unequal treatment towards you, your partner, or your children compared to other family members, indicating a lack of respect?
  • Do they exhibit a tendency to assert superior knowledge or demonstrate a need for control?

Below is a concise overview of potential strategies for managing a toxic parent.

During childhood, children may notice unsettling behaviors in their parents but often perceive these actions as standard parental behavior due to their young age and limited perspective.

As individuals mature, they may begin to recognize signs of toxicity in their parents. This realization can manifest as a feeling of walking on eggshells or engaging in actions solely to appease the toxic parent.

With time, the individual may come to acknowledge a longstanding pattern of prioritizing the needs of the toxic parent over their well-being.

Acknowledging the toxicity of a parent is a crucial step. Despite a toxic parent's attempts to mask their behavior, it is imperative to understand that their harmful actions stem from underlying mental health issues that require attention.

Accepting that you are not accountable for enduring years of negativity, criticism, emotional abuse, and inappropriate conduct is pivotal for moving forward. To progress, one must first recognize the issue and its impact.

Realizing that interactions with the toxic parent are often dictated by their terms can be enlightening. Reflecting on past instances of covert criticism may prompt questions about the normalcy of such behavior, especially when compared to the experiences of peers with healthier parental relationships.

Empower yourself by refusing to allow the toxic parent to wield control over your life. Recognize their toxic traits and understand that you do not deserve to endure emotional abuse any longer. As an adult, you have the agency to set boundaries and prioritize your emotional well-being.


Establishing clear boundaries is essential when dealing with individuals who exhibit toxic behavior that may be impacting you or your loved ones. It is imperative to set limits and engage with them only on specific days when you feel capable of managing the emotional strain they bring.

Should setting boundaries prove ineffective, do not hesitate to distance yourself from the individual until you feel ready to engage with them again. Remember, you are not obligated to subject yourself to their toxic behavior.

Everyone has the option to seek help when facing challenges, including the toxic individual. While change is possible through therapy, it is ultimately their choice to pursue it. Positive developments may emerge if progress is evident during their therapy sessions.

Should you find yourself experiencing emotional distress due to their influence, seeking professional help is crucial to break free from this cycle.

If you have yet to take this step, I wish you the best of luck. You have the strength to address this situation effectively.

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